The OEM MLS gasket is thicker than the stock one by about .4mm after it's compressed (stock = 1mm, MLS= 1.4mm), which is just under .020 inches. If you just run the MLS gasket without the shim, you should be back very close to the stock compression. The MLS gasket is thicker precisely for that reason (shaving the head or block during a rebuild, without having to use a separate shim like that).
Spacing the head out a bit with it shaved that much is important, since your piston-valve clearance will be affected, and also, your valve timing will also be a degree or two off due to the shaved head, because the distance from the crank sprocket to the cam gears will be shorter by half a tooth or so.
The combination of the two could potentially result in piston to valve contact, which is bad. You might be fine if you degree it back in with some adjustable gears, but using the thicker gasket is the most foolproof way to go.
The sealer you want is Permatex Copper High Temperature Gasket Spray, or something like that, and you should use it with the MLS gasket