retard monkey strength
posted 10/16/10 02:54 AM
I watched in horror as my wife had unknowingly created the worlds largest ever Volkswagen Beetle rear spoiler in the history of Volkswagen Beetle rear spoilers. This was of course my fault. I had prepared for this day like many others, staying up late in the garage, removing the seats from my car for what may have appeared to the layman, to be for no apparent reason. I assured the secondary persona of myself, which speaks to me throughout the day, that I did in fact have purpose behind all of this. Functionally I am outwardly normal to any observer, however in reality, I have an exact clone of myself which I talk too as though it is another person. This is not a disassociation disorder, but rather the way I rationalize the world in real time. Regardless, my second self was questioning my intentions which oddly were not at the time to keep my wife from doing something so silly the following day.
We arrived behind the store. Jesse came to meet us with a hand cart loaded with what appeared to be two heavily taped Uhaul boxes. The boxes had not been constructed as would have been expected, but rather, had been cut down and two boxes had become one. The larger and heavier of the boxes was able to fit within the confines of the rear section of my car, as the previous nights seat removal had indeed paid off. I had hypothetically expected to get both boxes in my car but it was to no avail, not even when I attempted to push the second box through the sunroof opening. The wife would have to be called upon to carry this last box home. The box did in fact fit into her Beetle, her having the foresight to lay the rear seat flat, however, the presence of the box eliminated the possibility of closing the hatch door. Thus, the hatch door had now become the spoiler. It rose high into the clouds as we carried our belongings back to the house. The car turned like a school bus in every corner, leaning far outside the normal reaches of it's suspension capabilities.
Thus we arrived, no worse for the trip. The Beetle having done it's job. My hauler, having carried the bulk of the load. We set about opening the boxes and releasing the contents from their confines. Alas, the tape was a mix of both duct tape and clear plastic packaging tape. I estimated that upwards of 300 feet of tape had been used in this operation which I suppose could have been proven by a follow up measurement after removal. The innards of the boxes revealed the rear and front Lancer Evolution Seats as promised by TheBoz. They arrived unharmed and in good working order. My wife, who has recently become a bit of a principled woman, set about removing all 300 feet of tape, for the sole purpose of recycling the cardboard, an endeavor I assured her would be an abject waste of time. Ignoring my advice, she spent the next 20 minutes doing what I found ridiculous. It was however reassuring to see her focused again. The boxes were in fact recycled, a pile of tape lay on the floor of the garage as testament to the packing ability of the sender.
Thanks for the seats.
I am big into recycling though and if your not into sacrifice or burnt offerings, you may want to stick with 93 octane.
Posts: 911 | From: San Antonio Tx | Member Since: 11/16/09 | IP: (220.127.116.11) |