Does it matter what end of the stud goes in the head? One end of the stud has more threads than the other end. I thought this might have something to do with why mine came loose. And I can't find a definite answer about anti-seize, yes or no?

shorter threaded end goes into the head I'm sure, as some of the threaded section of the longer side is going to be covered by the exhaust manifold itself. I would probably use copper grease or antiseize on the exhaust manifold end but not on the end which goes into the head.

It is super easy to have these studs pull right out of the head.

Most of the time it is because it is over tightened. Some times it is due to sloppy installation methods of new studs in an old head.

I use blue or green loctite on the studs into the head and anti-seize on the crush-nuts (make sure you use the proper washer to spread the mounting force correctly). I also use copper gasket spray on both sides of the head-to-manifold gasket as well as the manifold-to-turbo and O2 gaskets.

Get a good torque wrench to make sure you do not over-tighten those crush nuts. If I recall correctly, it only takes around 20 ft-lbs of force.

If you take your time and use the proper parts and supplies, it will last 100K, if not, you will have leaks very quickly.

I didn't have them pull out of the head rather they just backed out due to vibrations or whatever.

Washers you say huh? Well the stud is nut kit I got from FP and they don't give you washers with their kits.

Everyone says not to use loctite but the blue loctite probably shouldn't be that bad.

When I removed them from the head all the nuts and studs came out together (the studs unscrewed from the head the nuts wouldn't budge).

I ended up putting the nuts in a vise, spraying them with PB blaster and got the studs to unscrew from the nuts that way.

The OEM style studs and copper nuts do not come with washers. I've always used blue loctite on the studs when going into the head. Its also a good idea to re-tap every hole you're replacing a stud in. I've done it every time I've replaced studs and I've never had one break or back out on me.

loctite does not stand up to heat so its not doing anything other than offering an anti-siezing property.
it is still better than installing them dry. IMO you should never install threaded fasteners without something on the threads.