Okay, so Dreamhost has apparently fixed everything. Thanks hax0r5 for trying to DDOS somebody with Dreamhost and taking everyone out.
So I'm done pointing the finger at our provider for now -- any further issues can be blamed on the responsible people .... who have never donated $.
I'll be making some more configuration changes this week that will hopefully result in more stability and probably slightly slower response times. (Try to leave more RAM and CPU overhead)